As I was browsing fertility blogs, I came across this image. “I Love Female Orgasm.” Cool. I love it too. 
But most of the time, when BDing (aka baby dancing for others who are not into TTC), I don’t reach the big O. I’m more focused into ensuring that dear partner gives me his precious little spermies while 2 pillows are placed behind my buttocks. Do you experience the same thing?
Archive for August, 2008
On BD and Orgasm
I’m a Bitch, I’m a Lover…Lalala…
Just got back from a 3-day Union CBA proposal writing. As expected, I was stressed with all the thinking, computations, debates, writing and revising. The upside is, I got to spend 2 hours in the hotel’s spa: 15 minutes in the sauna while reading a fashion mag and sipping lemon iced tea. And afterwards, a relaxing body massage.
It was videoke/ karaoke night on our last night. Sang at the top of my lungs. Bitch by Meredith Brooks is my fave song. “I’m a bitch, I’m a lover, I’m a child, I’m a mother…” Oops, can I change the lyrics? NOT YET A MOTHER.
Almost everyone of my co-officers were drinking. No, I didn’t drink alcohol. I got a lot of whys of course. Just told them a matter-of-factly that alcohol is bad for fertility, bad for TTC. So is caffeine. I shouldn’t drink Coke, one said. Yes, I know, but what was I supposed to drink then? *SIGH*
Anywayze, I still drank Coke, ate crispy fried pork, dipped in a spicy mix of vinegar and soy sauce and all other junk foods available that night. Yummy! So in between eating and drinking, I sang my fave songs. Lights out by 1:45 am. All worth it.
AF Symptoms once more
My boobs are sore. Some acne breakouts. I know they are AF symptoms again. It’s ok. I’m taking things in stride. Dear partner and I called Shakey’s Pizza delivery and ordered for a large Shakey’s Special. We’re so hungry we downed all 8 slices with Coke. Yummy!
Going Gaga on Fertility Monitoring
Yup, I’m beginning to be just like everyone who’s trying to conceive. Going gaga over fertility monitoring. Actually, I’m still in its first phase. What have I done so far? I’ve researched on Ovulation Predictor Kits, Basal Thermometer and Pre-Seed Intimate Moisturizer.
The downside is, all are not available in my side of the world. Great. I thought of asking my older brother (who’s based in LA) to buy all these fertility stuff for me, since he and my mother will be coming home next month. But then again, I decided against it because he might be busy and all. Called my sister (who’s based in Montreal) instead and asked her to buy Pre-Seed for me. She said it might not be available in Montreal. I even e-mailed Pharmaprix and Shopper’s Drug Mart to ask on its availability. Bad news, they don’t carry Pre-Seed.
So what did I do? I went to Pre-Seed’s website, ordered it online and had it delivered to my brother’s address. Cost me $18.99 including shipping and I used my credit card. Huhuhu!!! On YM, my brother told me my package has just arrived. But the upside is, my brother told me to research if Pre-seed is available in Rite Aid. He said shipping is quite expensive, he could have bought it for me in store. Yehey!
Seeing that he was in the right mood to help me out, I had the nerve to ask him also to buy me the following: Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor, Clearblue Easy Fertility Test Sticks, Ovitrack Basal thermometer and another pack of Pre-seed. All are available in Rite Aid for a total of $220.76, sales tax not included! Whew! I didn’t tell my brother the total cost but I told him these could be quite expensive. I just explained to him the importance of these stuff to my TTC mission and thank God, he did understand. How generous of him indeed.
So there, next month, once I get these stuff, I will surely be more gaga over fertility monitoring. Will keep you posted on my second phase.
I Gotta Have Faith
No, this post is not about George Michael’s Faith song.
It’s what my ob gyne told me this afternoon. She’s not my infertility doctor by the way. As part of telling her my medical history, I told her that I’ve been on fertility work up; had 2 IUIs before but trying to get pregnant naturally for the next 2 cycles. She asked me if I had tests done and what were the results. I told her everything were normal: I had HSG and my tubes were patent; my partner has no sperm count issues; and we have no STDs or history of.
I told her I’m really wondering why I can’t conceive. She said my case is unexplained infertility and since it’s unexplainable, she told me “you gotta have faith.” Yes doc, that’s what I thought so too. Then she proceeded to ask me if I had been to Monasterio de Santa Clara (St. Clare Church) or if I had danced in Obando, Bulacan. These are religious places in the Philippines which are known and believed to give miracles to the faithful. In St. Clare Church, people come to offer eggs and ask the saintly nuns to pray for their petition while in Obando, fertility dance is done by childless couples in the streets to honor Santa Clara on her fiesta. I chuckled at the thought of dancing in Obando (but at the back of my mind, maybe in the future, I will have to go there also. Who knows?!).
So what have I done so far in the name of faith? I’ve been trying to pray the rosary daily (trying because there are days that I couldn’t do so). I’ve attended novenas to St. Jude at his shrine. I pray everyday before going to bed. My sister, who’s based in Montreal, Quebec, goes to St. Joseph’s Oratory twice a month and I’ve asked her to always light a candle for me and my partner.
When my first IUI failed, I really cried. I was devastated. When we went to our infertility doctor, during the consultation, I cried again. He said I should not worry because we’ve been doing our best and trying everything medical science has to offer. But then again, “Man proposes, God disposes.”
I gotta have faith. Yes, I have faith and I believe God will give me a baby or two, in His time. Hopefully, His time will be very, very soon.
Sanitary Pads for Fertility?!
Yup, you read it right. When you are “desperate” to conceive, you will try anything, just anything to “help” you conceive right? Well, add me to the long list of “desperate TTCers.”
How did I learn about these pads, you might ask. Well, 2 weeks ago, one of my officemates conducted a demo about Lovemoon Anion Sanitary Napkins & Pantiliners (you can google it). Apparently, these pads contain 5800 negative ions/cm which have been proven to “improve our health and well being.” Their website says “these tapes… protect against genital diseases, eliminating harmful bacteria, odor, enhance comfort and improve your health.”
Testimonials of people who used and have been using the products were shown. One woman, who was diagnosed with myoma, was actually scheduled for operation, but after using Lovemoon, when she had her AF, there were big blood clots believed to be the cyst. What’s even more shocking was the ultrasound that showed she no longer had cyst! Her doctor was surprised naturally. Would you believe even former president Joseph Estrada is using the negative ions tape (not the sanitary pad/ pantiliners itself. Hahaha!!!) to “energize” himself. Frankly, I was amazed by the results so what the heck! I bought a box. Lovemoon is quite expensive though compared to the top brands. Since I’m more after the results, thinking that it might help, I am more than willing to try it.
So before AF showed, I tried using the pantiliners first. To “energize” our drinking water, I pulled out the negative ions tape and put it in the pitcher. When AF finally came in, I used the regular and overnight pads. AF was really heavy for 3 days and on the 4th day, just a little spotting. On the 5th day, no more blood. Then I began using the pantiliners again. We usually have dry days after AF right? Would you believe I never had dry days since using the product? Also, when hyperacidity attacked on Tuesday night, I just drank the “ionized” water and voila! After a few seconds, hyperacidity was gone!
I’m not selling the products nor is the manufacturer paying me. I just want to share the products I’ve been using 2 weeks ago. Who knows, maybe I’ll get pregnant this time. Not bad huh? 
Things I’ve Done, Been Doing and Planned to Do While on TTC Break
I’ve been feeling good these past few days. I just want to share some things I’ve done, been doing lately and what I plan to do while on break from TTC. The list is as follows but feel free to add up your ideas.
1. Baby dancing every day (whew!);
2. No Clomid to take every night for 5 days and no Pregnyl shot on CD 11;
3. For my low-dose caffeine intake, I’ve been drinking lemon iced tea and regular Coke (but not everyday!)
4. I had pedicure (which I get regularly) and got my hair straightened last week (I would’ve wanted to visit the salon a few months ago for this treatment but afraid that the procedure and the chemicals might be bad for TTC).
5. I also had facial and whole body massage last Saturday (both took a backseat since getting into TTC);
6. Planning to visit an acupuncture clinic and have another facial with crystal resurfacing this weekend;
7. Night out with friends (drinking iced tea or pineapple juice only; alcohol is still a no-no!)
I’m Not Pregnant…Who Am I Kidding?
Just myself. Days before my menstrual period, I know that the IUI failed. All I got were AF symptoms. Nothing more, nothing less.
Do you know how difficult it is to think otherwise? I know that deep inside, I’m not pregnant but the other part of me wanted to think that I’m still in the running because AF has not yet come in.
Until yesterday. The last ounce of hope was gone.
It’s time to take a break. No more TTC for me…at least not for this cycle. And the next cycle…maybe. Ahh…I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know what to think anymore.
Tears are beginning to fall again…This is crazy. I’m just kidding myself.
Another Failed IUI
Yes, our 2nd try for IUI failed again. AF showed this morning. I was stunned…speechless…no tears…
But when I told my dear partner about it, the tears started to pour out. It’s like I lost another child. What happened? I had 4 matured follicles before the trigger shot. I took a rest after the procedure. I drank pineapple juice, chilled at home, slept every now and then. Where did I go wrong?
I felt like I’m useless. My dear partner said “I love you. We’ll try again. Maybe it’s not yet time.” I said “I’m sorry.” But then he told me I should not say sorry because it’s not my fault. But I felt like it was my fault.
We went to our doctor this afternoon. He advised us to try again, don’t lose hope, IUIs can be done up to 6 tries, but then again, we have to think about the possibility of IVF also. Where in the world can we get 300-400K pesos (or roughly 9K dollars) for the IVF? The IUI alone is costly for us, how much more is the IVF? It’s like we have no other choice but to accept our fate…
But no, I refuse to give up. Before we reach the maximum tries for IUI, I must get pregnant. So help me God.
