Archive for IUI

TTC Update

It’s CD2 for me today and I started using my BBT thermometer this morning. The direction said to place the thermometer under tongue. I got 97.6 F. I took it twice and with the same result. For those of you who are using digital thermometer, do you use it under your tongue too? Same time every morning? I hope I used it right.

BBT Charting is a result of my “5 Things in 30 Days” where I had a serious talk with DP yesterday. Not all issues were tackled though. But in the TTC arena, at least I know he still wants to have a baby. We have an agreement to push through with IUI, maybe next year, after the holidays. Christmas season is such a stressful month in the office, so I think it’s a good choice. No Clomid and Pregnyl for me yet. I’d rather take these meds after we visit our doctor next year. I don’t want to self-medicate (too costly!). As I am writing this, my left hand is busy opening the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor.

Yup, this cycle, it’s TTC the natural way.

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Bad Blogger

Add me to the list of bad bloggers. I’ve neglected my site; I haven’t read all your posts. I apologize. I know I need to do some making up. Problem is, tomorrow, I’ll be leaving for another Union CBA seminar, 3 days, out-of-town. So after a month of assisting my sister, brother and mother for their much-needed vacation, still, I can’t go back to my usual blogging. And once I get back from the seminar, I have to attend to my job. Aargh! So many things to do with so little time!

Homefront, well, there’s still War of the Roses for me and my partner. I don’t think TTC will be in our list of  priorities right now. First off, his mother had undergone colon surgery and still recuperating in the hospital. Insurance has maxed out and expenses have ballooned to a little over half a million pesos. I would’ve wanted to visit our doctor this month for another round of artificial insemination but heck, I don’t think my partner would be supportive of the idea. I don’t think he will support me financially since his mother needs money for the hospital expenses and medicines. Although I have all the gadgets I need for natural conception (basal thermometer, fertility monitor, Pre-Seed etc), I’m not excited to use them. Since AF stopped, my partner and I have only been baby dancing twice. Sad huh?

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Out of the Game

I’m out of the game…again. Since my family is home for a vacation, I get to spend most of the time in the province (where they stay). So many things to do with so little time. Every minute counts and I’m overly stressed. No baby dancing for me and dear partner (DP) either (he’s not on leave). My fertile days had passed and when I finally saw DP last night, we had an argument. Worst, he called on his whole family to the rescue-he called his mother and his older brother; his younger sister called me on my cellphone while his older sister went to our house to fetch DP. This is the bad side of having a close-knit family. Even if it’s DP’s fault, they would definitely take sides, not mine of course. My feeling is like DP is the woman and I’m the man of the house. Hello?! I’m the woman here, for God’s sake. But I face our problem without calling my family. I don’t know where he spent the night. But one thing I’m sure of, he’s drunk right now. That’s how he faces his problem, by drowning himself in alcohol. Surprisingly, his sperm count is not affected at all. The 2 times he had sperm analysis, everything was normal. Though there were defective sperms, the motility and count was good and I was injected with the best sperm in the last IUIs. This I was assured by my doctor.  This morning, his mother called a few times but I wasn’t in the mood to talk to her. Good thing we have caller ID. I knew it was her calling. Ahh…wish me luck.

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I Gotta Have Faith

No, this post is not about George Michael’s Faith song.

It’s what my ob gyne told me this afternoon. She’s not my infertility doctor by the way. As part of telling her my medical history, I told her that I’ve been on fertility work up; had 2 IUIs before but trying to get pregnant naturally for the next 2 cycles. She asked me if I had tests done and what were the results. I told her everything were normal: I had HSG and my tubes were patent; my partner has no sperm count issues; and we have no STDs or history of.

I told her I’m really wondering why I can’t conceive. She said my case is unexplained infertility and since it’s unexplainable, she told me “you gotta have faith.” Yes doc, that’s what I thought so too. Then she proceeded to ask me if I had been to Monasterio de Santa Clara (St. Clare Church) or if I had danced in Obando, Bulacan. These are religious places in the Philippines which are known and believed to give miracles to the faithful. In St. Clare Church, people come to offer eggs and ask the saintly nuns to pray for their petition while in Obando, fertility dance is done by childless couples in the streets to honor Santa Clara on her fiesta. I chuckled at the thought of dancing in Obando (but at the back of my mind, maybe in the future, I will have to go there also. Who knows?!).

So what have I done so far in the name of faith? I’ve been trying to pray the rosary daily (trying because there are days that I couldn’t do so). I’ve attended novenas to St. Jude at his shrine. I pray everyday before going to bed. My sister, who’s based in Montreal, Quebec, goes to St. Joseph’s Oratory twice a month and I’ve asked her to always light a candle for me and my partner.

When my first IUI failed, I really cried. I was devastated. When we went to our infertility doctor, during the consultation, I cried again. He said I should not worry because we’ve been doing our best and trying everything medical science has to offer. But then again, “Man proposes, God disposes.”

I gotta have faith. Yes, I have faith and I believe God will give me a baby or two, in His time. Hopefully, His time will be very, very soon.

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I’m Not Pregnant…Who Am I Kidding?

Just myself. Days before my menstrual period, I know that the IUI failed. All I got were AF symptoms. Nothing more, nothing less.

Do you know how difficult it is to think otherwise? I know that deep inside, I’m not pregnant but the other part of me wanted to think that I’m still in the running because AF has not yet come in.

Until yesterday. The last ounce of hope was gone.

It’s time to take a break. No more TTC for me…at least not for this cycle. And the next cycle…maybe. Ahh…I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know what to think anymore.

Tears are beginning to fall again…This is crazy. I’m just kidding myself.

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Another Failed IUI

Yes, our 2nd try for IUI failed again. AF showed this morning. I was stunned…speechless…no tears…

But when I told my dear partner about it, the tears started to pour out. It’s like I lost another child. What happened? I had 4 matured follicles before the trigger shot. I took a rest after the procedure. I drank pineapple juice, chilled at home, slept every now and then. Where did I go wrong?

I felt like I’m useless. My dear partner said “I love you. We’ll try again. Maybe it’s not yet time.” I said “I’m sorry.” But then he told me I should not say sorry because it’s not my fault. But I felt like it was my fault.

We went to our doctor this afternoon. He advised us to try again, don’t lose hope, IUIs can be done up to 6 tries, but then again, we have to think about the possibility of IVF also. Where in the world can we get 300-400K pesos (or roughly 9K dollars) for the IVF? The IUI alone is costly for us, how much more is the IVF? It’s like we have no other choice but to accept our fate…

But no, I refuse to give up. Before we reach the maximum tries for IUI, I must get pregnant. So help me God.

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14 Days post IUI…Just AF Symptoms

It’s my 14th day post IUI. All I have is AF symptom like having a pimple here…an acne there…My boobs are not even sore or tender! I’m been temping for the past 2 days but the temperature showed it’s normal. Cervical mucus is white and creamy. I don’t know if it’s a pregnancy symptoms. Sorry for thinking like this. Hahaha!!!

No, I’m not thinking of testing. No more HPT for me. The first time I did it, I was devastated when I got a BFN! But I’m praying so hard for AF not to show anymore.

For all others who are trying to conceive, I sure hope we get pregnant this cycle. God willing!

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