No, this post is not about George Michael’s Faith song.
It’s what my ob gyne told me this afternoon. She’s not my infertility doctor by the way. As part of telling her my medical history, I told her that I’ve been on fertility work up; had 2 IUIs before but trying to get pregnant naturally for the next 2 cycles. She asked me if I had tests done and what were the results. I told her everything were normal: I had HSG and my tubes were patent; my partner has no sperm count issues; and we have no STDs or history of.
I told her I’m really wondering why I can’t conceive. She said my case is unexplained infertility and since it’s unexplainable, she told me “you gotta have faith.” Yes doc, that’s what I thought so too. Then she proceeded to ask me if I had been to Monasterio de Santa Clara (St. Clare Church) or if I had danced in Obando, Bulacan. These are religious places in the Philippines which are known and believed to give miracles to the faithful. In St. Clare Church, people come to offer eggs and ask the saintly nuns to pray for their petition while in Obando, fertility dance is done by childless couples in the streets to honor Santa Clara on her fiesta. I chuckled at the thought of dancing in Obando (but at the back of my mind, maybe in the future, I will have to go there also. Who knows?!).
So what have I done so far in the name of faith? I’ve been trying to pray the rosary daily (trying because there are days that I couldn’t do so). I’ve attended novenas to St. Jude at his shrine. I pray everyday before going to bed. My sister, who’s based in Montreal, Quebec, goes to St. Joseph’s Oratory twice a month and I’ve asked her to always light a candle for me and my partner.
When my first IUI failed, I really cried. I was devastated. When we went to our infertility doctor, during the consultation, I cried again. He said I should not worry because we’ve been doing our best and trying everything medical science has to offer. But then again, “Man proposes, God disposes.”
I gotta have faith. Yes, I have faith and I believe God will give me a baby or two, in His time. Hopefully, His time will be very, very soon.